So the the day has been mainly wonderful! I have been able to do much more than I have been in such a long time. I actually got to go to my favorite yarn shop and SIT and knit for hours. I honestly have no memory of the last time I was able to do this. Granted there is still pain – but there seems to be a muzzle on the rabid beast.
I am trying not to get too excited, because I do not want to be crushed if it comes back. So, for the time being we are at status Cautiously and Hopefully Optimistic. (with all fingers and toes crossed; turning at sunrise 3 times west then 4 times east finishing by hopping backwards on one foot).
It was a big day. I am proud of myself, I am proud of my husband for still loving me, I am proud of my doctors (except for the part when they left me fanny naked up for way too long) – HELL I am proud of my furry babies for being so cute and cuddly.
I came home after my big day and napped. I didn’t want to push it. I will do what have done for the last year and half and take it easy tonight, This entails dinner at home. laying horizontal, maybe paint my nails and watching other people living their lives through the social media(s).
So – I was commenting on a friend/co-workers photo of his cat. The comments went something like this:
Me: “That is a happy cat”
Friend: “She is getting her tummy scratched”
Me: “Some ladies really like that”
AND this is where is gets ridiculous… And this also shows how brave the ignorant, immature and hateful can become behind a computer …
Errant Asshole: “Some Ladies aren’t even ladies because they had all their reproductive parts taken out”
Me: “Wow, that’s mature. At least I have more balls then you”
I mean – what are you to say about that? It is an obviously disgruntled formal employee dismissed from his position by another manager. He just happens to have a wide aim on his hatred gun. Usually my friends who are still in touch with him remove these kind of posts quickly. I know I should have let this one go – but I had to FIGHT LIKE A GIRL on this one for all my hyster sisters.
It is funny that people – but not surprising men – do not get that we are more then walking tits with reproductive organs tucked inside. There. It’s said.
And come ON – I was commenting on a freaking CAT PICTURE! Let me know if you want to step in the ring 😉
I learned shortly after my first laparoscopy that I would need to have a hysterectomy. To be honest – I kind had the feeling that may be the case while in the recovery room after hearing the surgeon speaking with my husband
“…we are going to have to go back in and remove part of her large intestine too… With it this advanced it would have been painful for years – hasn’t she complained?” (I Told you it Hurt )
The bad news, I wouldn’t be able to move forward with that major surgery until my body had some time to heal from this surgery. The good news, I had lots and lots of time to think and worry about – every – minute – little – detail. It was great!
First TONS of research:
- Getting things I will not be able to live without for the hospital stay (which I don’t really remember – thank you dilaudid)
- Make sure that you “plan your space” to suit you best (I don’t really remember the first two week in “my space” – thank you dilaudid)
- Belts and packs to deal with pain and swelling (THIS I remember clear as a bell ringing across the frozen morning on the edge of Lake Michigan– dilaudid, you failed me here)
- Small basket on the bed with everything I could ever need (I just remember wanting the remote, iPhone and eating animal crackers – thanks again dilaudid)
Ok, I had done my research and recovery was going to be 6 weeks of catching up on knitting and novels. Needless to say – this was not at all the case. It turned out to be lots of pain and sleeping in 3 hour increments. There were many times I would just lay on my back and play solitaire on my phone until the images of the cards went blurry and the phone would drop out of my hands – thank you again dilaudid – you were my truest friend during the first 2 weeks of recovery.
Slowly, days started seeming more like days and not fuzzy blocks of time sandwiched between pain and sleep. I started watching and really paying attention to TV. By this time we were in to October. Martha Stewart starting making “Autumn Sprays withTwigs and Berries”, it was easy viewing, and easy viewing to fall asleep to.
There was a lot of sleeping during this recovery. The TV turned into the noise in which I used to make sure that I was not lonely during the day. It was at this stage I was startled from a sound afternoon’s nap by the most disturbing sounds and images a fuzzy mind could take…. Freddy VS Jason. It scared the crap out of me! I honestly jumped awake by something my stirring conscience freaked out about. Needless to say, the last thing a knifed abdomen wants to do is jump. Obviously, I had picked to have recovery at the wrong time of the year not to be scared to death from every nappy time.
I soon started surfing for a channel I could just leave the tv tuned to. I will not go through all the channels that failed – but instead share with you the one that worked – NFL Channel. The NFL Channel is golden for the person who does not want to be startled awake by Halloween programming, shock daytime talk shows, shopping networks, early morning paid programming, news with loud clips/and sad stories, soap operas and clapping Oprah audiences. Granted, you have to actually like pro football (which I do) and be able to ignore whistles. Other then that it is PERFECT!
I always know what I am going to get on the NFL Channel – and I will take it. There are no sad news stories, no paid programming, no one screaming at me – just sweet and easy football. It is truly the best reality tv – and I have never once seen Freddy or Jason!
So, it became painfully (pun intended) apparent that the surgery did not fix the issue about 10 days after it was performed. Several weeks later I had an appointmentwithmy doctor to get the down and dirty on the situation. Using pretty graphic pictures from surgery as a reference, the doctor explained that my uterus and ovaries were literally bondwithscar tissue to a portion of my large intestines – and in turn strangling it. He went into detail how he tried to free my girlie bits and remove scar tissue but he admitted that he needed another to surgeon help him, though none were available at that time. He then decided to take out the two large legions he could see and save the rest for later since he knew I would need another surgery. He asked if my husband and I had children (no, and I was 39 at the time) and then he had to discuss what the options were… unfortunately, there were only two;
- Have a minimum of three surgeries (one to remove part of my large intestines) + several rounds of a strong hormonal drug called Lupron to try to save my girlie bits to see if the girlie bits would still be viable
- Have a complete hysterectomy and oophorectomy, removing all the scarring, legions and cysts he could see along the way
Let me just say that my particular pain can be described as having a kidney stone stuck in my bladder. I know this because it has happened. So yes – it hurts like a mother ______. To get rid of this pain I would do just about anything. It was really a no brainer for me at this point since I had such pain and wasn’t sleeping – take it out, slash and burn – leave no organ unturned – get it out of me! Below is what a friend said to me to make it easier:
“In my opinion, if you’ve got a great partner in life you’ve got all you need. I also believe that we coupleswithout children lead an overall happier and more stress free life. (don’t tell anyone I said that.) There’s a reason God made fertility peak at the ages when people are still naive enough to think they know what’s good for them.”
I scheduled my surgery and begin the wait. I got more pamphlets and a login for a website to watch a video on what to expect (my hubby and I died at some of the descriptions “Your cervix is the doorway to your uterus”). I did a bit of searching and found the Hyster Sisters (http://hystersisters.com). It is a wonderful site that taught me a lot. They even had lists of what to ask your doctor pre and post operation. So – I knew EVERYTHING I needed to go get the girlie bits out… this was so going to be a breeze…