It is easy to concentrate on all the negative that happens in your life. I know that being in constant pain from the endo and neuropathy has me just expecting the worst from those around me. Also, since my hysterectomy, it has become very easy to tell my friends who actively want to participate in my life, from the bystanders who are only around for the good times. It makes me sometimes forget that people will just do things to make other people happy because it makes them happy.
I had two random acts of kindness bestowed upon me this week. First, a co-worker came over to cut an unruly patch of the yard that our little push rotary mower can not handle. Not only that – but he gave us an extra lawn mower that he had. He just gave it to us and would not except any money. I just had to give him something for his kindness – so he got a few dozen cookies.
My second random act happened to me this morning… and it was odd. Lately, in the last couple of weeks, I have been thinking about a secret wish of mine that I have had for a long time – vintage Red cowboy boots. I don’t know why I have always longed for them – but have – without ever really telling a soul about them. It is just a little wish that I have kept to myself and secretly play dress up in my mind with.
I went to one of my favorite stores this morning, Sweet Patina. It is one of those stores that makes you want to move in. It is full of things that are well used and had been well loved. I could walk into this store on a daily basis and fall in love with some new to me wonderful little treasure. My objective this morning, just take a looksey, enquire about a necklace and drop off some of the cards for my site. I was not – under any circumstances – allowed to buy anything. Of course this was easily remedied by the fact that I am broke.
At one point the wonderful owner came in with just lots and lots of stuff from her storage unit to put into the store. I was fixated with some doodad or another and heard someone say ‘cowboy boots’. I turned, smiling to myself and sharing my secret longing with the wonderful ladies around me.
“I have always wanted red cowboy boots…” and then I saw them – Vintage, red, cowboy boots being pulled out and put on the floor. The store owner immediately picked back up and handed them to me. “They’re really small – I don’t know if they’ll fit…”
THEY DID!!! They were made for me and my narrow, high arched feet! I instantly loved them more than just my fantasy of owning some. I was afraid to ask how much they were…. I had no money and had no business trying them on, let alone falling in love with them. Maybe she could hold them until my next pay day… I hated to ask – she isn’t in business to make my red boot fantasy come true. I was about to look up and ask how much they were when something happened.
Just as my eyes met hers she said:
“You have to have them. Just take them – its ok. You should see your smile. I want you to have them so you have that smile on your face.”
And I could! I could feel the smile on my face! There are a lot of smiles we all use everyday to get through normal social situations. This was a real, Real smile. One that told the world something had just brought me a lot of joy. For a second I felt guilty for being so excited about a silly pair of boots. Then I realised my smile for was more then that. It was for me trusting strangers with my story, for their acceptance and most importantly, their random acts of kindness that warmed my heart completely that I was beyond any physical pain that endometriosis causes me – just for that moment.
And the moment was bliss. Just like my vintage, red cowgirl boots!