Seriously, how many battles can a girl fight – at once -with a spork? Apparently it is at least four:
- Dealing with Endometriosis
- Dealing with neuropathy & pain from the above
- Recovering from a serious hysterectomy from the above
- Weight gain from all of the above!
I have been diligently dealing as best I can with numbers 1-3 but I am having some serious issues dealing with #4. I have been blessed all my life in being relatively slim and fit. I can say that this is the absolute heaviest I have ever weighed in my entire life. I have heard all the arguments from people:
“you don’t look heavy”
“you were too skinny”
“your body has been through a lot”
“you are within your ‘normal’ weight limit”
And I can understand were each of these comments comes from. Trust me – I realize a year ago I was in a real fight, not even knowing it. I also realize that my body is dealing with the introduction of hormones + other drugs to assist with the pain, the hysterectomy damage itself as well as repercussions from quitting smoking – for good. But all of that is of little comfort when I try to put a dress on from two years ago and I rip the zipper try to get it over my hips.
Its just that in my 40 years, I have become very accustomed to being in control of my body, the master of my own ship so to speak. It was always in a healthy fashion I took control; first it was gymnastics, then cross country running for years and years and most recently, belly dancing. I have always been in shape and have had excellent muscle tone. I have also always known my body and what it can and can not do. Now I am 30 pounds heavier and faced with “bulbous belly”. If I stand and look at myself naked I have no recognition to the body I see before me. Due to the pain of endometriosis and the resulting neuropathy I find it impossible to turn to my exercises of old – walking and crunches/calisthenics. It is also difficult to look for new exercising options when I am so wiped out by the time the work day is done. Seriously, I can barely Google let alone drag my ass to exercise somewhere!
So now I am left with walking around lakes and museums once a week with my wonderful hubby + as many crunches as I can do until my eyes water. Again, how many battles can a girl face at once? Anyone have suggestions for me? I am all eyes!